The other day a sweet friend called me. She was in tears and
broken hearted. She was sharing with me how she had been hurt and offended by
some things that someone had said about her. Though she was sad from the
hurtful words, she had surrendered her hurt to the Lord and had no offense
towards the person who had made the unkind comments. She knew in her heart that
there was no truth in what had been said, but she was concerned about what others
may think of her, if they were influenced by the slander and how the discord
that was being sown against her would leave her reputation wide open to others
judging her unfairly.
Today, I share with you what I shared with her concerning
what the Lord has taught me in dealing with hurtful words and deeds brought on
unjustly and how healing can take place when it is handled in the proper way.
Words have great power in them. God created the world, using words. He spoke it
into existence. We humans also can create through our words as well. We do it
through songs, books and the very words that we speak to each other. We can
build each other up or we can tear each other down through them. Using words in
the wrong way such as slandering, can ruin reputations, destroy families and
break up marriages, as well as separate friends. They can destroy communities
and even divide churches and nations. What makes the difference when conflict
arises in a relationship is how those involved choose to respond. God’s word tells
us to, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy;
without holiness no one will see the Lord.“ Hebrew 12:14. First and foremost,
never, stop communicating, because you never want to alienate them. We all mess
up and wish we could hit some magical "undo" key. It can help
tremendously though, if you remember that most people have been in the same
situation you're in and if both people take that into consideration, healing
comes a lot faster. Focus on mending the situation, not replaying it in your
head over and over again.
Also, keep in mind that people who gossip, do so to
draw people into their own hurt and anger. We have all been guilty of that at
times. When we hurt, we want others to feel our hurt as well. We can even want
others to side with us and in order to do so, we feel we must tell our side of
the story, to give them our perspective. Be bold and ask the person who is
having the issue with you to pray for you and be open to what God may show you,
yes, even if you think you are in the right. A heart that is saturated with
anger, bitterness and un-forgiven hurt can and will become a victim of its own
poisonous venom. Someone who refuses to forgive or who harbors grudges and
entertains bitter feelings toward another, will be turned over to torturous
thoughts, bouts of misery, and agonizing unrest within themselves over time.
Forgiveness is not an elective that we can choose in the curriculum of life. It
is a required course for every Christian and the tests are not always easy to
pass. The term forgiveness means “to release” according to Matthew 18:21-35.
Loving people also means forgiving them often and infinitely. In other words,
whenever there has been an offense, forgiveness must step up to the plate. Be
sure saint of God, that your walk with the Lord becomes better, not bitter
through your situations. For if not, you may very well have to repeat it until
you see Jesus more clearly.
Whether we realize it or not, being hurt is the
place where bitterness takes root in a fertile heart that is fallow for
planting. So, be sure to sow the right seeds for a godly harvest and not a
bitter one. The writer of Hebrews warns that anyone can expect “trouble” from
entrenched bitterness. Furthermore, as a result “many will be defiled” Hebrews
12:15. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try restoration may not be possible
because someone is unwilling to release and let it go. But God’s word says this
to the child of God, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at
peace with everyone. Romans 12-18.
Loving on you today,
Bren
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