THE TOUGH TASK OF RAISING TEENAGERS

 

Have you ever ask yourself this question…..”What are teenagers thinking? Sure you have...we all do, even though we were once teenagers ourselves. Teenagers are thinking the same thing we thought about when we were their age. While they may venture out in a different direction than we might have, they nevertheless struggle with the same emotions and stages of growing up that you and I did. I remember when I was  teenager, I began to think things like, “When I have kids I am going to…”  and of course I would add a number of things that I was going to do, that was totally different than what my parents had done.

The fact that teens suffer with, a lack of experience in every facet of their young lives, causes them to be one sided in their thinking. That means that they can only relate to how or what they think about something in that moment.  And while they may act or do something very stupid and compulsive in our adult way of thinking; they are just being normal for their age; and while some may make better decisions than others during those teen years, they all ...will still surprise you with their actions at some point or another.

You see the role of a parent changes as that child changes. Parents will change from teachers to counselor and adviser's as their children grow up; and while they never really stop teaching their children, parent's must learn to step back, and take the role of the learned counselor and advisor dealing with them in understanding and love. When they are small, we parent's meet our children's needs according to what their age and needs may be at the time. As they get older, their need for us is less,  as they become more independent of us, just the way God intended it to be.

It is during those teen years that we become more "the tour guide", in their life. We walk with them ... touring around along side them, guiding  and advising them to make the right choices, but letting them actually, make the choice. Should they venture off and try to make what we know is a wrong decision and will do harm in their lives;  then, the proper discipline may be needed to keep them within the boundaries that have been established for them in their home.

Parent's find out quickly that the methods of discipline that may have worked well in those earlier years may no longer get the same results.  Most parents will find that controlling what their teen can have or do as discipline works better during those adolescent and teen years...if they stay consisitant and not give in... for the most part, works. Teens love having their own stuff and their own territory and removing them can be very useful in disciplining a youth.  

 

The teen years are some of the hardest of any stage of maturity and are the most misunderstood. They pose some of the most difficult challenges for any family. It is the time that children begin to break away from their parents authority, wanting to try and do things the way they want to do them... even if it conflicts with their parents... and to that teen, it will be worth a fight to get their way or point across. The challenging  job of the parent is to make sure that as they do break away,  they do so with the right heart attitude and at just the right time. While tough and difficult, the goal of the parent is to help their child break away by reducing their independence upon them while challenging them to become responsible as well as independent.

It is very important to teens that they are allowed to voice their opinions and ideas and while they may not always seem like the right ones... they still need to be heard and counseled guiding them to do the right thing. For a teen is much more apt to listen to a parent who is considering their thoughts and ideas, than to a parent who blindsides them with a NO before they have even been heard.  Making a teen feel like they are part of a solution is much better than making them feel like they are part of the problem. Love covers a multitude of wrongdoings for both the parent and the teenager.

If a teen is showing signs of aggressive behavior, violence, drug or alcohol abuse, promiscuity, or others unacceptable behavior, then those parent's may need to seek outside help in dealing with those types of behavioral problems.

While being independent of their parents is a natural thing to do; they must be counseled to understand that the desires and decisions that they may have and want to make, must be within the boundaries of what God’s Word teaches; or else the influences of those decisions can lead them to moral decay. Even the scriptures teach us that bad morals corrupt good values. They need to know that their life will be filled with consequences and their happiness will come from their recognizing and avoiding the bad ones by doing it right the first time.

As a parent and grandparent myself, I know how hard it is to keep your kids on your team. It takes much consistant effort and many times, agonizing prayer over them. There may even come a time that one of your children may seem to be slipping away from all the work that you have invested into them....may I encourage you today...not to grow weary as you struggle to be the parent that God wants you to be. Keep being consistiant, stay connected to the Lord, your family and your Church family and whatever you do....stay the course! Don't give up! Don't you dare give up....because when they return to their senses after they have wollard with the crowd and eaten with the pigs...just keep praying and trusting for their return, and when they do....the party will be on!

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  Luke 15:17-20

Loving you and encourgeing you today my friend!
Bren