THE CHRISTMAS BLUES

Trying to keep up with everything that will be taking place during the holiday season rush of shopping, cooking, plans and parties can often times, lead to much stress and even Christmas depression. The gift buying alone can cause the greater amount of stress than any other factor. One of the primary reasons for holiday stress, depression and blues is because of our unrealistic expectations of what we believe, moreover of what we want our holiday to be.

From the time we are children, we start building up our expectations of what we believe or perceive Christmas to be. Often times when we do not meet those expectations, we are left with the feeling of failure and disappointment. These feelings can be brought on by ourselves or even by family and friends. You may not be able to change your family’s dynamics, but you can at least be more aware of how they affect you. For example, are you particularly sad after shopping with a particular person? Do you dread the family Christmas dinners? To survive Christmas depression, find ways to shorten or eliminate the experiences that make you feel bad and fight to stay focused on what’s important.

Often times this wonderful and spiritual Holiday is a period of frenetic activity, a time when people are trying to juggle their work schedules, stay committed to social and church obligations, get their shopping done, do all the decorating, wrap all the gifts, and still find the time to enjoy all the fellow shipping with friends and family while staying on that dreaded budget. All this can lead to a rise in both physical and emotional stress for the entire family.

For many of us, the festive season around Christmas brings out our worst over-indulgent habits that we may normally have. We will eat more, spend more, go more than we would normally do, and regret it; come the first of the New Year as when we step on those scales, and the credit card bill comes in the mail. Trying to avoid some of the excesses that we desire and feel we must have can perhaps help us to have a more peaceful and Merry Christmas. This year, make a real effort to keep it simple. One way in keeping things simple is by giving only what you can afford, and doing what only needs to be done, not what you feel others expect from you. If you can no afford to buy that extra gift, then don’t buy it! If you are expected to show up at a party but need the rest from having been attending so many others, then don’t go. Stay in and rest. That way, you can really enjoy the holidays without feeling the rush and stress of it. They truly will be “what you allow or make of your holidays”!

Also, try to keep in mind that things will occasionally go wrong. The kids may spill things, break new toys, get dirty and make noise and at times even embarrass you. Your husband will forget to buy batteries, even though you reminded him several times. You will most likely forget to do something important, like thaw or cook the turkey on time, invite a particular person or forget to buy that someone a gift, or simply forget to take the cookies out of the oven before they have burnt to a crisp. You may possibly have plans that will get delayed, from someone being to slow, or a relative will get tied up with other responsibilities and will not be able to make your function and cancel or not even show up at the last minute. Some dog will undoubtedly jump on your new clothes and their un-clipped toenails will rip up your stuff or scratch your skin, or get under your feet and hang around you begging for a morsel during your entire visit at someone’s home. Things do happen! But, if you can learn to face these little setbacks with yes, a forced smile and some Christmas grace, then I promise you that you'll find yourself having a better holiday, because now you're more relaxed and are accepting the setbacks that want to steal your Christmas joy.

While the holiday season brings sentiments of joy and celebration for some, for others it is a time of isolation and an increase in feelings of depression and negative thoughts. Those feelings of negative thoughts and depression can become so extreme for some that they can even lead to thoughts of suicide. Especially at risk are people who are socially isolated and have no friends or family. If you are feeling depressed, please make all the effort that you can to surround yourself with positive people who make you feel hopeful and give you encouragement. If people do not know that you are down and blue, then you must make them aware of it. If not you may well miss an opportunity for an invite for some holiday cheer. So, be sure… if you are alone or far away from family and friends this holiday season, to join a local volunteer group that brings holiday cheers to others or join in with a group of folks at church and strike up new relationships. This way, you will help yourself and others.

For those who enjoy the excitement and energy of the holidays, be aware of those around you at work or in your church or family who may be alone and in the true spirit of the season, invite them to celebrate with you, reminding them that there is hope. That way you truly are spreading the joy of Christmas and sharing the true spirit of God’s love for each other as we celebrate His Son’s birthday together, so remember; Christmas should not be about our unrealistic expectations of what we wish it would be but about what it really is…and that is…Jesus, He is the reason for the season!

Happiness is a choice....loving you always, Bren