There are times when people we love, trust, or depend on disappoint us deeply. Sometimes their choices hurt us, their actions fail to meet our expectations, or they simply do not respond the way we hoped they would.
In those moments, it can be difficult to see anything good coming from the situation. Yet God reminds us that He is still working, even through circumstances and people we would never have chosen. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
Notice that Scripture does not say that everything that happens is good, it says God can work all things together for good. For God always has a plan, even in our disappointments.
Throughout Scripture, God used imperfect people and disappointing circumstances to accomplish His purposes. Joseph was betrayed by his own brothers, yet years later he could tell them, “Ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good” Genesis 50:20. What his brothers intended to destroy, God used to position Joseph exactly where he needed to be.
Their actions were wrong, but God was greater than their wrong. Sometimes we become so focused on the person who disappointed us that we fail to recognize the God who is working behind the situation.
God can even use someone’s failure toward us to develop something in us that could not have been developed any other way.
Disappointment can teach us patience, forgiveness, discernment, humility, compassion, and dependence upon God. James 1:2–4 reminds us that the testing of our faith produces patience and that patience helps us become spiritually mature.
This does not mean we should excuse someone’s wrongdoing or remain in an unhealthy situation. It means we can surrender the hurt to God and trust Him to use even painful experiences to shape our character and draw us closer to Him.
Sometimes the person who disappoints us may actually become part of what God uses to move us into a new season. We may not understand it while we are walking through it, but God sees what we cannot see.
Proverbs 3:5–6 tells us, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
We do not have to understand every person’s actions in order to trust God’s direction. We can release the disappointment, forgive where forgiveness is needed, establish wise boundaries where necessary, and allow God to determine what comes next.
When people disappoint you, remember that their actions do not have the final word, God does.
What feels like a setback may become a lesson; what feels like rejection may become redirection; and what feels like something meant to hurt you may become something God uses to strengthen your faith and prepare you for greater service.
Instead of allowing disappointment to fill your heart with bitterness, ask God, “Lord, what are You wanting to teach me through this?” Psalm 138:8 gives us this assurance: “The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me.” We may not be able to control what others do, but we can place the situation in God’s hands and trust Him to use even our disappointments for His purpose.
Hold Fast,
-Bren
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