HOW TO FACE DISAPOINTMENTS

Have you ever looked at a situation only to see the cold grim face of relentless disappointments, one right after another? The odd thing about disappointments is that, they are only disappointments… if we meet them as just that, disappointments and not let them control or destroy us. We can learn to change those points of discouragements by seeing them as God sees them, not how they may appear to you, to be.

As we think of Christmas time, many thoughts will pass through our minds, and as we relate this wonderful Holiday to the birth of our Savior, as well as spending time and enjoying the festivities throughout the month of December even into the New Year with joy and fun, let’s also take a moment and consider how each event that led up to Christ birth brought with it not only joy and hope, but trust and obedience to what God was to ask of one very important person!

While we often times will give much attention to some of the characters that were involved in making the nativity scene complete, like remembering Mary, the mother of baby Jesus, the shepherds and sheep, the star and the manger; let’s take a moment and think about the prelude to that delightful event.

At the beginning of this great story, there were some sad moments, short felt disappointments and possibly even discouragements along the way. This of course was before they all saw the baby and realized that God had worked His perfect plan and it all turned out to be good, even though they faced very difficult times and situations before they got to that place in the stable.

There was to be some testing’s that led up to the obedience that we now know and appreciate so much in the life of many of the characters that were involved. I would like to bring one of them to the for-front of this devotion today and that character was Joseph, the foster parent of Jesus. God chose and knew that He had placed that special call on the shoulders of the right one, and while Joseph was somewhat puzzled and left wondering for a short time, his call to obedience was never an issue. For while he might have been stunned upon first hearing that May was to be a mother before she was even a wife; it all soon gave way to Joseph seeking God’s will and plan for his and Mary’s grave situation.

Joseph, God’s pick as His Son’s earthly foster parent. He was a decedent of David, betrothed to Mary, the future mother of God’s only Son. This man Joseph can easily be identified with, in how he must have felt on several occasions of his life, as he was given some very shocking at first and somewhat disturbing news concerning his future and the plans that he was making . At one point he was looking forward to a life married to Mary, a bright and promising future, and the next was the shock that rocked his world. He found out that his betrothed and beloved Mary was with child and the child was not his own. That disappointment must have been overwhelming to him and from a human standpoint, anyone could understand the shock that he must have felt upon hearing the dreaded news as he realized or thought that he had been deceived by the one that he loved. The scripture speaks of Joseph as being a good and compassionate man. Matthew 1:19 says that “Joseph, her fiancé, being a just man, decided to break the engagement quietly, so as not to disgrace her publicly.”

For any plans that he had had for his life, was interrupted drastically, as God began to direct him with His own plans for Joseph and Mary upon the message from the angel and Joseph’s dreams. Joseph proved to be a man who would obey God without question. But at first he struggled with the news that Mary brought him.

We too are like Joseph, we make our plans and when things don’t go the way that fit into them, we become disappointed and discouraged. The scripture says in Proverbs 16:9 that "A man's heart devises his way: but the Lord directs his steps." This emphasizes the inability of man to do anything unless it is God's will. Man makes plans and devises what he wants to do or thinks he will do, but ultimately, it is only what God wills that happens.

We do need to make plans, and be diligent and organized. The apostle Paul made plans and was diligent and organized in seeking to carry them out, even if things did not turn out the way he had planned Rom 15:22-32. We also need to pray for God to bless our plans and works, to make sure that we involve Him. Isaiah 30:1-2 warns us about making plans without inquiring or consulting God first, before we carry them out. Christ has all authority in heaven and in earth Matthew 28:18, and He is working all things after the counsel of his own will Rom 8:28; Eph 1:11. God tells us to make request of Him in everything Phil. 4:6.

In Matthew chapter 1 upon hearing the news of Mary’s condition and even though Joseph was a good man, he doubted Mary and was confused about the situation because the scripture says that upon hearing the news he reasoned to go ahead and marry her so that she would not be disgraced, but then his plan was to divorce her quietly at a later date. You see he came up with his own plan. Then the scripture tells us that after he considered the situation in verse 20 an angel of the Lord appeared to Him.
The angel reminded him using God’s Word about what the prophet had said of the virgin birth. After that, Joseph understood and opted to obey. So many times we like Joseph, doubt because we don’t understand the plan. His plans for us are always found in His word. Just because we do not see them clearly at first, maybe we are not looking deeply enough for them. For the most part, we do like Isaiah 30 talks about…we can be obstinate children and make plans without considering God. Moreover, we make them and think because they are good plans, that God should bless them only to find out that God is trying to direct us in another way.

Oh sweet friend, even today I found myself in the same place as Joseph….and I knew because of my past walk in Christ and the promises that He gives me in His Word that following Him and doing it His way is and will be the best way for me to take.

For Joseph, he made the right decision for himself and everyone else. Let us learn from him, that God may instantly change the planned direction of our life; And to readily obey the Lord is to be included, for eternity, in God’s Kingdom for all who do it His way! And as we take those steps of obedience in faith, God will honor them and will continue to guide us, no matter what His plan may ask of us. He is faithful and can be trusted no matter how bad the situation may look at first glance!

Loving you today…..
Bren

TAKE THE HIGHER ROAD

When dealing with conflict, taking the higher road is always the best way to handle and maintain your own moral high ground. To take the higher road means to learn to respond in a manner that will not escalate a bad situation but disarm the situation by cooling it down. As children of God we must learn to make great effort in finding God’s perspective in every situation that disagreements place us in, no matter how hard it may seem.

When we have been wronged by someone that does not see the situation as clearly as we may feel like we do, and have wronged us, then the only thing that can be done is to take the high road and agree to disagree with them and move on. After you have reminded yourself that whatever the situation was… will more than likely not even possibly matter to you in five years from now…. then move on! Don’t let someone or something rob you of your joy or ruin your day over something that might just be pretty trivial to them. Never let someone get the best of you in a situation. Learn to squeeze out every ounce of compassion towards them and move on.

Always be sure to take the time and not miss anything that may be your responsibility. Admit what you should and then move on. Try to remember that other people are looking at the situation from their own perspective whether you feel like they have a foot to stand on or not. The reason that there is a disagreement to begin with, is because two people are viewing a situation from their own perspectives.

What is your perspective by the way? Are they based on codes and ethics, maybe scriptures? In conflict maybe the other person has no code of ethics nor do they believe in scripture. They reason and think the way they do because of the condition of their hearts., and only God knows the hearts of man.

Shake it off and apply the Golden Rule (found in Matthew 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”) of kindness in every situation you find yourself in; and you'll be surprised to find the peace that you will get from any random act of kindness that you may show someone who may not be deserving of your kindness; and you'll find yourself back on the high road once again.
Mark Twain once remarked that to act morally is noble, but to talk about acting morally is also noble and a lot less trouble. While he may have meant to be funny his words are very misleading.

Being noble is a lot of trouble to those who have no desire to seek or apply it. The scripture says that where a man’s heart is there is his treasure. So anytime we can act in a godly manner is much better than just talking about it. We are to be doers of the Word and not hearers only the Scriptures teach.

There have been saints and scoundrels all through history. The saints have understood some important things about what God’s Word teaches us and how we are to live if we are children of God. Scoundrels never seem to grasp those truths and laugh and mock at them, as though they were silly fables. If we know what to do in certain situations; then those truths can motivate us to resist the temptations that threaten to lure us off the high road and succumb to the low one.

I work in the Transportation Industry. Within our Industry we share a type of ethics that govern us with codes, regulations and law as well as conduct. If you believe in these ethics and allow them to guide how you do your job then they can keep you out of trouble in a number of ways. If you however can be tempted to accept other alternative ways of avoiding those codes and regulations as a substitute for real ethics, then you may find yourself in a bad situation. But, if you allow those codes and regulations to govern how you work within the industry, then you are following that code of ethics and your actions or deeds reflect that ethic or standard that you live by and they can provide you with protection.

The same applies to Godly ethics and regulations, if we practice and live by the Golden Rule for instance then we dare not worry about God’s dealing with us as disobedient, but obedient children.

My brother has built his business through the years on his personal code of ethics and the Golden Rule. He went out of his way in his dealings with people through the years as he has built up his business to be helpful, honest and trustworthy with his customers. As a result, his reputation for integrity spread though those years and his business has flourished; because his success was rooted in his character as well as his code of ethics. He has strived with great effort to apply the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and it has paid off in more ways than one for him.

That Golden Rule should be the principal or code of ethics by which all Christians live by. Knowing and practicing that principal will always help to refocus our minds, reminding us of our consequences if we do not follow it, and nudge us in the right direction. By following it, we are living the life that Christ died for us to have…the life more abundantly.

Decide today what choices are best for you and worth living for and yes, even dying to self for….to do what is right and not what you feel like doing in the flesh; and let no other code or action undermine it. Choose you this day whom you will serve…and get to doing it!

“As a prisoner of the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; with patience, bearing with one another in love.Diligently keeping the unity of the Spirit with the peace that binds us.” Ephesians 4:1-3
The Higher Road is by no means easy….but it is, the right way!
Let’s love each other, no matter the cost!

Bren

THE CHRISTMAS BLUES

Trying to keep up with everything that will be taking place during the holiday season rush of shopping, cooking, plans and parties can often times, lead to much stress and even Christmas depression. The gift buying alone can cause the greater amount of stress than any other factor. One of the primary reasons for holiday stress, depression and blues is because of our unrealistic expectations of what we believe, moreover of what we want our holiday to be.

From the time we are children, we start building up our expectations of what we believe or perceive Christmas to be. Often times when we do not meet those expectations, we are left with the feeling of failure and disappointment. These feelings can be brought on by ourselves or even by family and friends. You may not be able to change your family’s dynamics, but you can at least be more aware of how they affect you. For example, are you particularly sad after shopping with a particular person? Do you dread the family Christmas dinners? To survive Christmas depression, find ways to shorten or eliminate the experiences that make you feel bad and fight to stay focused on what’s important.

Often times this wonderful and spiritual Holiday is a period of frenetic activity, a time when people are trying to juggle their work schedules, stay committed to social and church obligations, get their shopping done, do all the decorating, wrap all the gifts, and still find the time to enjoy all the fellow shipping with friends and family while staying on that dreaded budget. All this can lead to a rise in both physical and emotional stress for the entire family.

For many of us, the festive season around Christmas brings out our worst over-indulgent habits that we may normally have. We will eat more, spend more, go more than we would normally do, and regret it; come the first of the New Year as when we step on those scales, and the credit card bill comes in the mail. Trying to avoid some of the excesses that we desire and feel we must have can perhaps help us to have a more peaceful and Merry Christmas. This year, make a real effort to keep it simple. One way in keeping things simple is by giving only what you can afford, and doing what only needs to be done, not what you feel others expect from you. If you can no afford to buy that extra gift, then don’t buy it! If you are expected to show up at a party but need the rest from having been attending so many others, then don’t go. Stay in and rest. That way, you can really enjoy the holidays without feeling the rush and stress of it. They truly will be “what you allow or make of your holidays”!

Also, try to keep in mind that things will occasionally go wrong. The kids may spill things, break new toys, get dirty and make noise and at times even embarrass you. Your husband will forget to buy batteries, even though you reminded him several times. You will most likely forget to do something important, like thaw or cook the turkey on time, invite a particular person or forget to buy that someone a gift, or simply forget to take the cookies out of the oven before they have burnt to a crisp. You may possibly have plans that will get delayed, from someone being to slow, or a relative will get tied up with other responsibilities and will not be able to make your function and cancel or not even show up at the last minute. Some dog will undoubtedly jump on your new clothes and their un-clipped toenails will rip up your stuff or scratch your skin, or get under your feet and hang around you begging for a morsel during your entire visit at someone’s home. Things do happen! But, if you can learn to face these little setbacks with yes, a forced smile and some Christmas grace, then I promise you that you'll find yourself having a better holiday, because now you're more relaxed and are accepting the setbacks that want to steal your Christmas joy.

While the holiday season brings sentiments of joy and celebration for some, for others it is a time of isolation and an increase in feelings of depression and negative thoughts. Those feelings of negative thoughts and depression can become so extreme for some that they can even lead to thoughts of suicide. Especially at risk are people who are socially isolated and have no friends or family. If you are feeling depressed, please make all the effort that you can to surround yourself with positive people who make you feel hopeful and give you encouragement. If people do not know that you are down and blue, then you must make them aware of it. If not you may well miss an opportunity for an invite for some holiday cheer. So, be sure… if you are alone or far away from family and friends this holiday season, to join a local volunteer group that brings holiday cheers to others or join in with a group of folks at church and strike up new relationships. This way, you will help yourself and others.

For those who enjoy the excitement and energy of the holidays, be aware of those around you at work or in your church or family who may be alone and in the true spirit of the season, invite them to celebrate with you, reminding them that there is hope. That way you truly are spreading the joy of Christmas and sharing the true spirit of God’s love for each other as we celebrate His Son’s birthday together, so remember; Christmas should not be about our unrealistic expectations of what we wish it would be but about what it really is…and that is…Jesus, He is the reason for the season!

Happiness is a choice....loving you always,

Bren