BEING RIGHT, IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!

How is it that one moment a perfectly good relationship with someone can spontaneously spiraled into an ugly verbal tennis match, with one petty exchange after another over responsibilities and actions. How had such a great relationship gone from laughing and fellowshipping one moment, into what is now a relationship of hurt, anger and lashing out on social media about it. After a period of being schooled on this subject, shouldn’t we have figured it out by now, how we are to act and react to others in those moments? Yet we still fall into our sinful, reflexive responses. And each time the pain is fresh, raw, and dividing. We begin to ruminate and turn comments over in our minds, re-thinking the verbal exchanges, over-analyze situations and allow all types of weapons that are formed against us to hit us with an crushing blow of emotional stress and blame.

 We lay blame and nurse our wounds, stubbornly crafting a convincing mental list of why we are right and why they are wrong. The prophet Jeremiah, the traditional author of the book of Lamentations, understood pain, separation, and relational discord. Yet Jeremiah knew he had a choice and for him the only choice that he had was to obey God. When he chose to remember his “affliction and his wandering, the bitterness and the gall,” his soul became “downcast within him.” Focusing on his troubles didn’t bring him peace. Ruminating injustice became a weight, dragging his soul into depression. He said, "I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The LORD is my portion: therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:19-24

            Jeremiah shows us that there is a way to break the ugly cycle of negative thinking, that cycle that pulls us down and away from love, restoration and the hope that God has for us all. The first thing we should do any time there’s trouble in a relationship is to call to mind God and remember his goodness: “The LORD is my portion: therefore I will wait for him." Begin to list the ways God loves you and has blessed you, from the unfathomable gift of His forgiveness in Jesus, right down to the things that you do not deserve to have, but do. Then, take the time to turn your thoughts to God’s goodness in that relationship. Call to mind those things that you loved and once enjoyed in that relationship, instead of what you believe is currently wrong about it or them. Better yet, consider your own faults. While you may be so strong and surrendered in one area of your life, more than likely you still show signs of flesh in other areas that others can see. The Holy Spirit will always nudge you to think better of them and not badly and if you do not think upon them in that way, then your thinking is wrong and is stinking thinking.

The Lord most definitely will turn the heart of His children from any selfish need their flesh may be seeking to be right; to be loving instead. More than likely, it won’t be the last time you mess up and have to repeat this process on behalf of yourself and someone else. But God is working in your heart and theirs, helping us all to remember his blessings, calling us to mind his compassion, and move us to sacrificially offer that compassion to each other. Don't say, you love someone even if they may be wrong, when you are bashing them for others to see or withholding friendship, whether you name names or not, in hopes that someone will jump on your band wagon. That is not the way to win them over to truth. No matter how hard or loud you vent, remember this, the only ones that you hurt are yourself and the Lord's reputation. It does not matter how many friends agree with you, if the Lord is against what you are doing. What matters is how God feels about your approach in the process.             Being right is not always right! How you handle being right, is always right! God's mercies are new for us, every morning! Should not our mercies be new for others every morning as well? "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35 God is watching us all sweet friend! 2 Chronicles 16:9a tells us this, "For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him."

 

Hold Fast,

-Bren