We are not born knowing how to raise children. It is a lifelong effort that is learned as we go about it. There are no parenting formulas that ensures any child’s path where they will not make wrong choices and reap strong consequences, especially during those hard teen years. While no one can really prepare for parenting teenagers, parents can at least make the effort to understand them as teenagers begin separating themselves from parental authority and gravitating towards their peer groups and personal beliefs and guidelines for their lives. This process is normal, natural and even necessary to some degree. Fight it and believe me, you'll lose. The key is learning how to dodge the small hurdles and focus on winning the big ones through love, forgiveness and lots of prayer. The solution is to make every effort that you can to operate within the guidelines of wisdom and patience, as well as you possibly can; maintaining a moral and godly influence in their life. Ephesians 6:4 instructs the following, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." and Colossians 3:21 says this, "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged". It will benefit you by understanding there will be a difference in what's yours to control and what isn't. The quicker you learn this, the better you will be able to deal with it. Not all children will struggle as hard as others. Some will venture off on their own unwise course, to learn later at some point, that they made those wrong turns as they feel the painful reaping from the dreaded consequences of those choices. Yet sadly, some of them will continue down a spiral path of one wrong choice after another, never changing, never turning. Some will wonder off path, but will find their way back by making better choices. These teens will have learned great life lessons and will become stronger from them. Though troubled, they are our teens and are beloved to us! They come from good families, they were rocked and sang to as babies and read to and cheered for, as they did good. While things may look gloomy for a time during these years, there is always hope! You just must never lose it! In looking back on my own life as a teenager, what looked like rebellion was actually a natural "itch" for greater independence from my mother. While I loved her, I wanted to be free from her authority over me to do the things that I wanted to do and the way, that I wanted to do them; and the more she told me that she understood me, but would not support my unwise choices, the more frustrated and angrier I became with her. For, I thought if she really understood like she told me she did, she would support the choices I wanted to make. Sound familiar? Not every child will grow up to rebel and be strong minded and hell-bent on doing things their way. But all children will challenge you at times. My own children were ordinary kids, just like I was and acted totally cray-cray at times. Believe me, I did not skip through their teen years with nary a rebellion, academic catastrophe, lack of self-esteem issue or moody depression. I will not name names to protect the guilty, but I had typical run-of-the-mill teens that delighted and frustrated my husband and me, and to this day would gladly lay down my life for either of theirs. That is just normal. Life is not perfect and nor are our children perfect. These devotions are not meant to give you some kind of self-help steps in rearing teenagers. What they are meant for is, to send out a word of encouragement to those parents who are on the trenches of the battlefield right now, dealing with heart break over a child that you love. To be a lighthouse of hope no matter how long they have been where they are or how long it may take them to get back. If you are reading this, please know that you and your precious ones are being praying for.
Hold
Fast,
-Bren
No comments:
Post a Comment