In my early years of being a Christian, I struggled with my
finding approval from God. I had not yet understood that God approved of me
because of Christ alone, who now resided inside of me. Nothing that I could do
would make me more saved, loved, appreciated or accepted by God more than my
simple confession of sins and turning away from my past, accepting the work of
what Jesus did for me on the cross, committing my life and future to Him. As I
did that, Christ came into my heart and life and made me all that I needed to
be in order to be accepted by God the Father. Early on, I found myself looking
around at other women whom I had much respect for (spiritually speaking) and
trying to duplicate in myself what I saw in them. But what I soon found out in
doing that was this: I was trying to duplicate someone else’ ideals and worship
of God to define myself and quickly found out that it was just not working. I did
not know at first that a personal relationship with God and my worship of and
to Him was unique to my personality and where I was in my walk with the Him and
His working in me.
I had to learn the importance of listening to what God was telling
me to do and not try to duplicate in my life, what I saw in others. And by
doing this, my worship became genuine and my duty and inspiration from God was
to and from Him alone. I learned early on that I had best abandon anything that
even had the faintest hint of a man-made expectation of who I should be in
Christ. Philippians 2:13 tells me that it is God, who wills and works in me for
His good purpose. I am not left to myself, but I have inside me the Holy Spirt
of the Living God that aids me in everything, I now need. God is
now working in me and because of that, I have an efficacious working power
source, that I can now call on to help, when I am in need. This is no
hopeless task to which He has called me, no more night cries because I feel so
hopeless in trying to change myself. No fruitless beatings of the air, nor idle
effort in trying to change my ugly spots so to speak of the leopard, or the
Ethiopian, to change the color of his skin as in Jeremiah 13:23. The Lord is
working in me now, and He is mighty to save and change me. Whatever impulses I
may feel, whatever goodwill in my efforts to serving Him. I now look upon it as
a token of His presence and His readiness to help me in them. That is God
working in me to will it and to do it, for He has no feeling but one
towards me, and that is of goodwill. Oh how that verse assures me that
there is nothing lacking in me when I became God’s child and that I can be
assured that He will change me through His power as I submit my will to Him and
that good purpose.
Hold Fast,
Bren
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