HOW TO SPEAK TO THOSE WHO ARE FEARFUL OF DYING

 

I am in no way an expert on dealing with death bed salvations, but it has been my experience, that very few folks seek God when they are dying. While you may think they do, they don’t! What they do seek however, is a temporary peace in the process of their dying.  They want to let go of their fear and embrace their death no matter how they have lived or what they have believed up to that point. As a Christian, I am bound by Scripture to lead them to the One that offers not only temporary, but eternal peace. The peace that surpasses all their worries and understanding. But for so many, by the point of dying, they have passed God up so many times in their lives, they no longer realize that it is still the craving for God that they are seeking, even though it is peace that they are wanting. I have however, dealt with people who struggle with finding that peace and when I have shared with them that asking Christ to come into their hearts will satisfy and bring them peace, many have said that it is too late for them or have some other sad discourse to share. It is heart breaking! While some may think that it's best and most important to respect that person’s wishes, I find myself wanting to and have at times, beg them to invite Christ into their hearts. But you know, even with death knocking at the door, some people refuse God’s offer for salvation. For some, like the thief on the cross who slandered Jesus, instead of asking for mercy, like the other thief that begged Jesus to remember him; some people will still refuse the grace of God even upon their death. While we cannot change that, we can offer God’s love to them, His compassion and encourage them with what we do know. For what we do not know is if they have passed the opportunity to open the door that had once been knocked at by the Son of God to come in and sup with them. But they will know. We must always be willing to offer to them the bread of life and allow them to make that decision.  Before Christ came in to my heart, I had hope that was based on wishful thinking. When Christ came in to my life, my hope was changed to peaceful satisfaction and is now steady. My hope now provides me with the eternal peace that my heart longed for before I came to Christ. Before Christ, my hope was based out of fear. You see, fear always replaces Hope. Fear from the unknown, fear from things that scare us. By asking someone what they are afraid of, may bring about an honest discussion of their fears and can help you know better how to comfort them.

From a biblical perspective the moment you are born, you are simultaneously dying and will eventually do so. Life only exists because of death, and death exists because of life, they are polar opposites of the same thing, one can’t exist without the other. The problem is that when we cling to life, we then become afraid of death. Being diagnosed with a terminal illness can be very traumatic. But sometimes, the comments that we try and offer in an effort to offer comfort, can be equally distressing. The truth is, many of us just don't know what to say to a loved one or friend who may be facing their mortality. But in trying to find the right things to say, it is essential to understand the seeker, the person seeking comfort, before you try to find out what it is they are seeking. Is that person seeking peace with God or are they simply seeking peace to die? Are they struggling over leaving loved ones that they are concerned for, knowing that they will no longer be alive to take care of or be of help to? Find out what exactly it is their fear stems from and go from there. But remember,  the best thing to do for someone who may be facing death, is to allow them to guide your conversations and actions responding to them with honest answers. God did not make every person a counselor, but He did give every human being a heart that can show tenderness and compassion if they so choose to show it. They may just need a friend to walk with them through the dying process. It is not your responsibility to give them peace, only God can do that. But they must be willing to receive His peace on His terms and accept the things they have no control over. Some people live their whole life fighting against God and they are never able to get rest apart from letting whatever it is that they are angry about go. The reality is that, whatever fulfillment we are searching for, is available to us in the very moments that God convicts the heart to receive Him in. It is the first and last freedom that God gives us as humans. We have the choice to choose Him and have eternal peace or to choose eternity without Him. That is the free choice God has given to every man and woman. Yet, the scriptures are clear in 2 Corinthians 6:2 that, “For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” While we may not know what that time or hour is for others, it is always our job to offer and ask. A person will respond to God in times that we may not understand. If we can help to bring peace to those who hurt and are far away from God, then I say we make great effort to do so. For who is to say that that dear one may be allowed to enter eternity with nothing to show, but their death bed testimony. Keep offering hope as long as you can. When someone quits clinging to life as their eternal hope and accepts the way God is speaking to them, they go beyond their fear and realize the scripture is right when Jesus said in the book of John,  that He is the life and no man comes to the Father but by and through Him.

Loving on you today,

Bren

THE PRODIGAL'S BROTHER

Whenever we hear a parable from the scriptures, we compare ourselves to each of the characters in the story, in order to see what similarities we have with them. In the story of the Prodigal Son, a man had two sons. The younger son had a dissatisfaction, a longing for something and so he tried to satisfy it by going as far away from his father as he could go, to live his life as loose as he wanted to live. The unfortunate thing is that the further he was from his father, the more difficult it was to reach out to him for help. As a matter of fact, in order to reach his father again, he had to turn around and go back the way he had come. This is how it is when we are far from our Father, the farther we are, the more difficult it is for us to hear his voice when He speaks to us. The father did not go in search of the younger son. The son had to make the decision himself to come back. If the father had gone in search of the younger son, more than likely he would not have been fully ready to repent and he would have resented his father’s effort. The son had to make the decision himself and he did, “I will arise and go to my father” (Luke 15:18). That is a decision we all have to make, to leave the illusions of happiness that the world offers us and go to our Father. If we follow the illusions of false happiness with which the world tries to seduce us we will end up with the pigs in the pigpen. Upon seeing his wayward son returning, the father leaves the house, ignoring any dignity that others may have felt he had, to embrace a beloved son’s return home. That is what love offers. He withheld no pride for his son’s return. I am sure each of us can see some similarities between the younger son in the parable and ourselves and even see ourselves in the father as his happiness returned and joy once again filled his heart.

 

Now I would like to turn to the character of the elder son in the parable. I believe that many of us can relate to him as well. The elder son, despite the fact that he was with his father all those years, was shocked when he heard that his father was throwing a party for his brother that had thrown his life away, squandered his inheritance and caused heartache in the family. Not to mention the extra work that was put on his back because of his idiot brother’s selfishness. Is that a good enough picture? In spite of all that had happened, the older brother still didn’t know or understand his father’s heart; maybe the servants understood his father better. But he just could not find the resolve to forgive and be happy over his brother’s repentance. Maybe because the brother had not stayed awake at night prying over the prodigal brother. Maybe his pain had not reached down in his soul as his father’s pain had. Apparently, through it all, the elder son had never felt accepted, appreciated or loved by his father. Maybe that was part of his problem. You see he had placed his value for himself as well as his younger brother on his work and own efforts. He made the efforts, his brother did not. So his resentment towards his younger brother was really pointing to a deeper wound; he did not feel loved. The older son had no real relationship with his father. He was distant and aloof. He was like the Pharisees and scribes who complained about Jesus’ ministry to sinners in Luke 15:2. For years the older son had done the right thing but, with the wrong attitude. “Lo these many years I have served you”  he said in Luke 15: 29 to his father.

 

The elder son refused to recognize his brother as his brother as he stated, “this son of yours” in Luke 15:30. The elder son could very well have been called the prodigal who stayed at home. For he was also wayward, but his waywardness is more difficult to see because it is so easily overlooked because of his halfhearted faithfulness. So the parable serves as a story of about a loving father that seemed to have two prodigal sons, one left the home while the other stayed at home, yet his heart was far from his father. If only the brother could see his own faults as God saw them, maybe he would be a little more forgiving. If he understood that his father’s love was never based upon either of his son’s ability or work ethic, maybe then he would have understood that nothing he did or did not do could earn his father’s love. Because his father’s love was rooted in race and mercy for his children, just as God’s love is for us. In spite of what we may feel about God’s love, we can never earn it. We can only accept it for ourselves no matter what we have done and accept that He forgives others in the same way and we are to be happy over that! Only Jesus, the sinless one, could have known the depth of the story that He was telling and was able to have drawn such a picture of God’s deep love for us. Notice what the father says to the elder son “All that is mine is yours” in verse 31. I think that is the most beautiful statement in the parable. Our heavenly Father keeps opening his arms to us also and saying “All that is mine is yours.” What more could we want of God. For it is already ours and when we stand before Him it will all be revealed to us!

Hold Fast,

Bren

THE PRODIGAL'S FATHER

The parable of the Prodigal Son is a story about God’s redemptive grace and mercy and of His unconditional love and forgiveness to His children. In the story the Prodigal Son, the father also played an important role, for the father represents God the Father, in how God’s love for us goes beyond the boundaries of how we treat Him. The father’s heart was broken as his son chose to throw his life and future away on what the father knew was a decision that his young son had made in his flesh. Luke 15:11 speaks of the son’s request for his part of his future inheritance. Can you envision the disappointment of this father? He had worked hard all his life to build up a future for his family and had hope to be able to turn over the family business to them one day when he was at the right age to retire. But, because of his son’s uncalculated  decision, there they were, in the most heartbreaking situation a parent could be. A situation that could destroy any hopes of the future that the father had planned, dreamed and worked so hard to attain for his sons. There his youngest son was, asking for his inheritance before it was time. An inheritance that had not been earned, but yet had been promised and provided, by a loving father. The father could have refuse him, but that is not what happened. While, no doubt those thoughts went through his mind of saying no. His young son may go away on his own, destitute and bound for disaster, but he loved him and knew that sometimes a child must learn through those hard times and making by mistakes, they simply learn the right way to go. So, after weighing the advantages and disadvantages like any wise father, he calculated what was his son’s part was, and gave him the value of it, all the time, hoping and praying in his heart that the son would reconsider before he regretted what he was about to do. But he did not reconsider, Luke 15:13 says,  “And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.” Towards the end of the story, the young son had a change of heart and mind and came back to his rightful place in his home amongst his family. He returned to the father begging for his forgiveness and acknowledging his sin and wrong choices.  He came back with nothing to offer, for he had squandered his entire inheritance yet, the father received him with joy and celebration, restoring him to his place in the family. The prodigal’s father had been watching and waiting for his son to return. Day after day, he watched and he waited and on the day that the father saw his son approaching, (indicating that he had been watching for him), he ran to him and embraced him with open arms. He did not wait for the son to get to the front yard, but far off he saw his beloved son and took off to go and meet him and bring him back home where he belonged. Just as God the Father does His children when they come back to Him, the prodigal’s father showed that His love was unconditional for his son as well. Like the prodigal’s father, God loves us when we have wondered off to the far country of wrongdoing. Like the prodigal’s father, God accepts us back into the family and restores us to our position in the body of Christ. The prodigal son’s father wanted the rest of his family to be happy as well. He even told his older son in Luke 15:32 “…this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found”. God too wants His children to be happy when our spiritual siblings return from the far place. Like the Prodigal’s brother, I wonder if God’s children respond in the same way as did the Prodigal’s brother?

 

Hold Fast,

Bren